07/12/03 - 5:29 p.m.

I�ve been dwelling on the past lately. Luckily Chess has been here to pull me through it. It makes me wonder if maybe I am not strong enough to endure alone.

Of course since this ring has been placed on my finger, it comes with the promise that I will never be alone again. Comforting, but also scary. Will I always spend my life going from one person to the next, leaning on them for the duration of the relationship?

Too critical of myself. That�s not true, that�s not what I do. I spend my life keeping secrets from everyone until they drag it out of me. Until Chess. Chess knows everything, from the leftovers of relationships past to the darkness around my Dad. And he actually understands.

Lucky. I am lucky.