03/01/02 - 11:01 p.m.

Note: I am trying something different. Aiming for more of a fictional aspect to this diary that is based on my real life. I just want to see where it goes.

It�s six in the morning and my parents are fighting again. My dad wakes me up with his yelling. I am irritated. I have to be up in an hour for school, couldn�t he just let me rest?

It�s about his shirts this time. They aren�t cleaned. Mom didn�t finish the laundry.

I hate yelling. My father sounds so angry and it scares me. I wish my mom wouldn�t fight back. It just makes him more angry and then he throws things.

I get up because it is clear that I won�t get to sleep anymore. My brother across the hall is still sound asleep. He can sleep through anything, unfortunately it usually takes me 20 minutes to get him up.

The bathroom light is harshly bright. I am so pale it disgusts me. When did my hair get so light? When did I lose most of the slant in my eyes? When did I become so white? I can�t remember but I hate it. I lost my Asian half somewhere between 5 and 9 and I will never get it back.

Dad is still fighting with Mom. I wish they would stop.

Makeup goes on. I try to brush a tan across my face, add a little more angle to my eyes. My hair is hopeless though. Long brown strands cascading damply down my back, no makeup can make it less Smith and more Chen.

Why do I look like this?