08/02/00 - 02:50 AM

Another angry bout with friends leaves me with little inspiration to write.

But what can I say here that I haven't already expressed elsewhere? Nothing. Nothing.

I suppose it's back to this diary, maybe this is the artistic me. The depth of my writing pours out here in volumes that I didn�t know I had.

The older you get the more complex everything becomes. Which explains why I love children so much. They are so carefree. So exciting and happy over the smallest things. Staying awake all night before Christmas. Tell me, when was the last time you couldn't sleep because of something exciting? I can't even remember.

I think the last time was the day before I started high school. I was terrified and excited I couldn't sleep.

Life just doesn't work that way anymore and that makes me sad.

Maybe that's why I want to have children. Seeing joy in their eyes is almost like having it for myself. I see parents get caught up in their kid's excitement. I want to bring my kids that light that makes them smile. I want to see them covered in happiness.

Who wouldn't?

I am trying to convince my boyfriend that kids are good. I've got ten years to convince him. Do you think he will be convinced? :D