01/26/02 - 11:49 p.m.

I am going to start updating here again because I have been informed that diary neglect can lead to diary deletion. I still have a section of Iniquity buried somewhere around here. Maybe I can drag her back up again and keep going.

As far as depression goes, it�s been light on me lately. I fell off the �flesh wagon� last semester sometime when everything was crushing my soul. It�s crushing it again now, a bit more forcefully this time. I don�t think I will break this time. But I am scared.

I could tell Chess was disappointed in me. But he kept it to himself, something I am grateful for.

Sometimes I am afraid that I will be crushed under my own ambition.

My love for my job has petered off as love for jobs usually does. It�s a good job, but it takes up time that I could use to just be free. To just relax. To not always be on the go somewhere doing something. I think I am building a slight resentment towards it in some aspects. Even still, I would hate to stop working there, I�ve gotten so used to the routine.

For the most part I have been happy. My relationship is nearly without problems, we�ve been lucky.

I am so exhausted.