06/13/00 - 06:08 AM

How do I make peace with love?

A love that has become unrequited after a long relationship. The face of a man I can't forget. He haunts me in my dreams, my thoughts, my memories. In the melody of music, in the plot of movies we had seen together. Things we had done together.

Two years is a long time to spend together, a lot of memories to make.

Don't you remember? You sent me a bottle of your cologne so that I could have your scent around me. When you came to visit, I would try and make you forget some of your clothes so that I could sleep in them. And just breathe you. You always held my hand when you drove.

I miss�

Your snoring! What a silly thing to miss!

How we slept together, always in the same position. Me on my left side, you on your back, our legs entangled, my arm draped across your chest. I miss how your goatee tickled my flesh. I always stole quick kisses from you. I miss how I would sit on your bed and read while you played video games. I miss kissing your neck and making you give me that grrr. I miss watching movies wrapped up in your arms.

Do you remember the time we skipped the BFF concert to stay home and make love? When I kept kissing your neck while you were on the phone with Mike and he kept asking you what you were doing? Remember we made love and sang "Magic" to each other?

The first time we slept together and I kept rubbing your side even while I was sleeping? The first time we made love and you wanted to slide into me without protection, just to see what it felt like? We always slept with our stomachs touching. When we got caught making out at your uncle's wedding�.

I have to come to terms with this. Move on or beg you to give me another chance. Love you or leave it.

What I wouldn't give to just look up at you once more. To put our palms together and see how much bigger your hands were than mine. To just hear your voice!

It has been nearly a year since I last heard your voice.

Do you miss me at all? Do you miss us at all? Does anything remind you of me? Don't you ever wish that things could be different?

No.

You don't do you?

Please pull me back inside. One last time, before I die. Slides your lips across mine and breathe with me. Fold my hands in yours and lead me across the world. Curl up next to me let me see you smile. Make me laugh, laugh at me. I don't care! Just once more.

Just one more time that would last forever, my love. Forever.

Like my love for you.

My love.